This is a common statement – I’d say it resonates with about 76% of the female population. The sad thing is, we usually just leave it at that – a statement. We don’t ask questions like: Why do I hate it? Why is the reason I hate it happening? Is it possible not to hate my cycle?
These three questions got me to where I am today – pain-free cycles, loving that I have this amazing female body, and running my business, Seed Cycle Blend, to help more women feel the same. But it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine.
I love my mum to bits. When I got my period, I’ll never forget – I was wearing white underwear, I saw the blood, and I was so excited. I was a woman. I was cool.
Mum gave me an applicator tampon and some pads. She said I could just start with pads, but I was determined to go straight for the tampons – and I did it on the first go. So proud.
Mum took me to Valentines (a buffet restaurant) to celebrate my period’s arrival. I ordered a traffic light drink and pigged out on all the food bars. We spoke about what to expect, and Mum said we’d go buy some “nice black underwear” after lunch.
But I’ll never forget what my mum said to me:
“You’ll get cramps as part of your period – it’s really normal. I used to get them as well.”
At the time, I appreciated getting a heads-up. I’ve always liked having information in advance so I can prepare. But little did I know, this was the beginning of my conditioning around accepting common – but abnormal – symptoms of the menstrual cycle.
I was so lucky to have a mum and dad who celebrated the arrival of my period, as opposed to handling it with shame or embarrassment. This is something I’ll always cherish. And to be honest, the heads-up about the cramps wasn’t Mum’s fault – she was sharing from her experience and this was the story passed down for generations at the time. Not to mention this story being perpetuated in ads, movies and media.
And this was going to affect me in a few ways:
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My unconscious expectation was set about periods – they were something to dread.
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I was going to accept this situation for about 18 years of my menstruating life.
And sure enough, every single month, I suffered terribly. And it wasn’t just cramps – I had emotional breakdowns, felt anxious, and didn’t want to go to school or work.
It was a thorn in my life that I didn’t even realise I could remove. And not with the pill.
Mum had made it really clear to my sister and me that the pill f’d her up when she was on it as a teenager. As a result of her health journey, we were raised surrounded by green juices, homemade sauerkraut, spelt pancakes, and every natural remedy under the sun. To be fair, we went to the doctor maybe once a year because Mum was an actual wizard using homeopathy, food, and remedies to treat acute ailments for us three kids.
So, I’m 15 when I go to the doctor to talk about my symptoms, and the whole experience was abysmal. Ten minutes, no information or education on my situation – just an offer of the pill and on your way.
The terrible thing is, people are still experiencing this today.
I recently wrote in a comment section on a post that asked, What hill would you die on? And I said, “The pill does not liberate women.” And I stand by that.
No matter what convenience it provides for contraception, we do the exact opposite of liberation when we literally put our female foundations to sleep. Not to mention all the ironic side effects – lost libido, not feeling like yourself… Do I go as far as to say that looks like a system that doesn’t give a shit about women?
You know, they tried to make a male pill but the trials showed it wouldn’t work – because men didn’t want to mess with their hormones. (Shaking my head as I write this.)
Anyway – that’s a post for another time.
So, I’m about 17 when I get my first smartphone. I download a cycle tracking app. It predicts when my period will arrive and when I’m fertile. This is the first time I realise there are only a few days of the month I can get pregnant.
Can you believe an app taught me this – not my health teacher – AT AN ALL GIRLS’ SCHOOL? Shook.
So, I’m tracking my cycles with this app – it’s not perfect, but it gets the job done for seeing how long my cycles are. I was that annoying friend encouraging everyone to track their cycles and bagging on the pill, saying it puts you in a fake state of pregnancy. I would later learn the pill puts you in an artificial state of menopause.
Meanwhile, I’m lashing out at my closest girlfriends two days before my period. Then, when it arrives, I’m bent double in the school toilets. I’d take Panadol, but it wouldn’t even touch the pain.
This continued into my early twenties and wreaked havoc on my romantic relationships. Why wouldn’t I hate my period? It was the source of all pain and frustration, right?
This was when I was exposed to people like Magdalena Wszelaki, Dr Izabella Wentz, Dr Jolene Brighten, Lara Briden and Alisa Vitti.
From here, everything changed.
The biggest mindset shift? That our cycle wasn’t the problem – it was the environment and how we treat ourselves like small men as opposed to cyclical females. And embracing our natural physiology is the solution.
The rest is history – or rather, the rest is me finding seed cycling as a solution to my menstrual symptoms. Witnessing it change my life and end my period cramps. Creating a ready-to-use product, building a brand, and making it available to women worldwide.
I am determined to reframe the expectations that you have to suffer most of your menstruating life and offer a solution before wasting your menstrual years in pain. It warms my heart every time we get a seed cycling review from another woman whose life has changed. And even better when I see people's eyes light up in my menstrual awareness talks when some new information resonates that could change how they work and interact with the world.
Today, I love my period. I love my cycle – and it loves me back.
I hope you feel this too. If not now – one day.
Take care,
Rochelle
Founder, Seed Cycle Blend
